Beginnings

Every day is a new day to start again and try to get something right, accomplished, or dismissed. Last year I decided that I had to make some serious changes, starting with leaving my job after 10 years. Ostensibly I left because my father is in decline and I wanted to be available to help my mother-but there are and were other reasons backing this decision.
Truth be told I should have left prior to when I did-but it was easier and more gratifying to my ego if I stayed. I can't be the awesome star go-to gal cheerleader if I leave; that and everything would fall apart leaving chaos and destruction in my absence. So...things had to get uncomfortable before I finally listened and made the move. By then I was just a hot mess of anxiety and depression with a dash of anger. And that is no way to live! Certainly that was not the person I wanted to be, nor was it the mom I wanted my children to have; yet there I was.
The first thing to change was a lessening of anxiety about many things. Then I was able to establish a routine and get things done, ordered and otherwise the way I wanted them to be when I was working and carrying the universe on my shoulders (yes, in my head I was apparently a big deal-despite self talk over the years to not buy into my own hype!)
Now I have meals on the table, I am home for my kids and my parents and going into the new year I know the right decision was made.
But, what next...?
I have consciously avoided want ads and postings in the area-with my dad's health there is no point being the new guy ANYWHERE, as I would never have the time or flexibility to do what I am doing now.
I could go back to school, and getting my Ed.D is the dream.
I used to be a fair writer and the idea of blogging appeals, even if it results in nothing but an ego fed journal that no one ever sees.
I used to be moderately artistic with some skills...and I have a number of projects I want to try.
I have a new day. And maybe taking time to breathe is all I will do with it for now...